Dancing with the Stars? D-List Style

Today ABC announced the new "stars" to appear on the next installment of Dancing with the Stars. What they really need to call this show is "D-List Has Beens Trying to Recapture Fame by Dancing". Of course it probably wouldn't get the viewership the network is looking for with that title. But let's call it now the winner of this season will be Dr. Quinn herself, Jane Seymour. Everyone loves the Medicine Woman and she's got the cure for what ails ya. Do yourself a favor. Rent Wedding Crashers and remind yourself why you love Dr. Quinn.

Superbad = Supersucked...5 Guy Buddy Movies Better Than Superbad

For those of you who spent 8 or more dollars to spend 2 hours watching Superbad, I feel for you. I too fell for the previews and thought Superbad would be the baddest movie this summer. I too was let down. Here's what to do save your money, go to your Blockbuster Online Total Access account and get the following five movies. I guarantee the following movies will be 100% better bang for your buck than Supersucky.
5. Weird Science. Teenage boys, hot chick and weird science. Really? Need I say more.
4. Bad Boys. Guys being guys. Shit blowing up in most scenes. Again need I say more?!
3. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Redford and Newman. Doesn't get better.
2. High Fidelity. John Cusack and Jack Black. Better lines better story. Better movie.
1. Swingers. You looking for the ultimate guy film where guys are trying to hook up with the women?!?! You so f*@king money and you don't even know it. Go rent this and repeat after me. Swingers is superbad.
bkate out

The Big Debate? McConaughottie is HOT

Someone broke into my stock of Cambria Chardonnay. How do I know this? Because that same person thought up and asked the dumbest debate question ever. What? Whether or not Matthew McConaughey is hotter with a shirt on or off. Why is this the dumbest debate question ever? There can be no loser. Matthew McConaughey is commonly refered to as HOT. He IS Matthew McConaughottie. Ask any woman or man and they will tell you shirt on, shirt off they'll take Matt. Shirt on, shirt off you won't kick him out for eating cookies in your bed. Nor would you kick him out for playing the bongos naked in your living room. And if you are the kind of person who would kick him out for those activities you obviously don't understand the concept of hot, beautiful and or smokin'. By the way, someone tell the debate questioner that I need a replacement wine.

Just In: K-Fed Calling for more Custody

Just in tonight...K-Fed is going back to court and asking for more custody. Apparently he possesses sealed documents that could lead a judge to award him more custody. The question is what is in those documents that could cost Brit her kids?

Dumb and Dumber: The Britney Spears Story

It is said that you can take the girl out of the country, you can dress her up, you can give her lots of money but you just can't take the country out of the girl. Once again our attention is cast upon Britney Spears and the downward spiral that is her life. Most recently Ms. Spears went shopping for some vitamins (to counteract the booze and lollipop cigs) and in the process of parking hit another car. In true clueless fashion Ms. Brit checked her vehicle for damage but never checked the other car. Oh and she left without ever leaving her information. What will happen next? I expect full on nudity within a month, rehab in 3 months and a loss of custody of her children (even if it is temporary) within 6 months. Like I said you can give a country girl $100 million but she is still a country girl.

Brangelina Splitsville?!?!?

Rumors abound that Miss Angelina is growing tired of one of the Sexiest Men Alive Brad Pitt. bkate agrees that the once happy and harmonious coupling is in rough waters. With Brad taking off more for rides on his motorcycle and Angie's decreasing weight there is definitely trouble in paradise. Angie has a history of leaving men after 2 to 3 years and openly admits she doesn't want to commit and cannot trust. Seems to me that with Brad's mom cozing up to Jen and possible reunion calls from Brad to Jen we may see the end of brangelina. The only question is...will they split custody or will Angie take all?!? Only time will tell.
bkate out

Dr. 90Tool10

Have you caught the new season of Dr. 90210 on E!? If you haven't you are missing out on watching the BIGGEST TOOL on television. He may have won Big Brother 2 but he is the biggest jackass on television. I dare you to watch one full episode (keep a barf bucket handy) and state that Dr. Tatoff is not a tool. You won't be able to do it. You won't. Maybe if enough of us write into E! they will take Dr. Kirby aka Dr. 90Tool10 off the episodes. bkate out

Fire! Fire! Fire! Hot Celeb Updates

Quick reminder -- it is only Wednesday. There are still 2 days left til the weekend for celebs to give us even more juicy gossip.
Boa constrictor eats goat. Otherwise known as Nicole Richie is pregnant. Think. That's what she is going to look like in a few months. She confirms that yes she and BF Joel are pregnant (4 months). Let's not put LiLo in jail. Paris in jail gets us a second CD; Nicole in jail gets us a baby; what is a LiLo in jail going to get us?
Jessica Alba is single. Men everywhere are telling their buddies that they still have hope. Gym memberships increase while women everywhere are cursing cupid for setting Alba free.
Showgirls meets Striptease. Otherwise known as Britney shoots a new video. Apparently there is one thing Ms. Spears can't do. Pole dance. Well that should be a positive when she goes to court against K-Fed to get custody of her kids. And seriously no one saw the K-Fed responsible parent thing coming. No one. Not even Shar.
And speaking of videos. If you haven't realized the third Bourne movie "The Bourne Ultimatum" comes out this Friday. So you have a few days to get online become a member of Blockbuster Online. Request The Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy and prepare for Ultimatum.
bkate out